This guys dead. Then Cross him Off.

I'm already addicted. 3 games into the regular season, and I can't stop posting about baseball. So far there has been tons of shit to talk about. So lets get to it fucko's.


The Blue Jays have been 86'd. I was late to this story, as it happened yesterday but apparently they can't serve beer at baseball games in Toronto because somebody broke some rules.
Which I have to say is very grammar schoolish. Like the time in 3rd grade when Sally Johnson ruined recess because she wasn't quiet during science. Fucking bitch. I didn't get my game of 4 square in because of that chatty cathy.
Anyway, I guess somebody got drunk at the Rogers Centre (god that felt gay spelling Center like that), and now nobody can get drunk. Apparently they run Canadia like my shop teacher in high school. He told us, "Somebody loses a finger........ Everybody loses a finger"
What kind of country are those crazy french fucks running? No beer at a baseball game? Why don't you outlaw hot dogs too? I got a better idea. Just stick to hockey and eating doug nuts at Tim Horton's kay? Its the only thing you guys have a chance at mastering.



Apparently its dangerous to be associated with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County. At the home opener, some dude got knocked the fuck out. Forever. Apparently that's what happens to fans in southern California if you stay past the 7th fucking inning.
Then just last night, thier pitcher Nick Adenhart gave up 7 hits in 6 innings,,, than got hit after the game. With a fucking car. It was a hit and run, so we know that Kosuke Fukodome wasn't involved. That idiot has never executed that play properly in the bigs. Or for that matter. Soriano. Since he just hits,,,,, then fucking jogs. I don't think I've ever seen the man actually run. Or take a direct route to a fucking ball. Somebody buy him a Garmin for his birthday and install it on the brim of his fucking hat. A fly ball was hit to him two days ago and he looked like he was driving to it in a roundabout. Look kids Big Ben.



Did you hear that noise on Monday afternoon? It was the sound of thousands of Yankee fans jumping off of the Brooklyn bridge because CC Sabathia couldn't even strike out a single Oriole. Obviously Felix Pie wasn't playing that day. You know you're bad if Cesar Izturis hit one out of the park on you. That guy doesn't have infield fly rule power. That's right, Cesar Izturis went yard. And it wasn't his front lawn either. The only time that guy goes yard, is when he walks three feet.
Apparently Texiera was booed for a solid 12 minutes at Camden because he decided to take 2.5 million dollars more a year, and not play for a shitty team. But thats not the real reason he was booed, its because people from Baltimore are stupid. Listen dipfucks, I hate the Yankee's too, but if Steinbrenner offered me 2.5 million dollars a year more, I fellate his family pet. Then I'd hit some homeruns for him.


In the opening game on the East coast Sports Propaganda Network, the rookie Jordan Schafer hit a homerun at his first ever major league at bat. Me Thinks he hasn't put those steriod days behind him. He served a 50 game suspension in the minors for testing positive for a HGH, and now all of a sudden he's jacking shots out to the biggest part of the park. What do I know though, Brett Myers was pitching.


Ichiro Suzuki is on the DL for the first time in history. With a bleeding ulcer. Probably because he gets worried every time Eric Bedard pitches. More like Eric BeTard. Its understandable, I get worried when Eric BeTard pitches and he's not even my teams league. Physically and Metaphorically.


Gary Sheffield was released by the Dee-troit Tigers on Sunday night. The Tigers still owe him 12 million, and they just let him go. Which tells you a lot about the financial wizardry of people in Detroit. The Mets picked him up immediately, which I don't know if that was the smartest or dumbest thing ever. The Mets already had 4 outfielders that were mediocre. Why add one more? And Gary Sheffield is old and broken. Especially considering that he's not allowed to take steroids anymore. But, on the other hand, when your not paying him to play.... Why not add him to your lineup? I'd take him, but we already have a bunch of idiots that can't catch.


As predicted in previous posts, the Cardinal's bullpen sucks balls. Pirate Balls specifically. And it only took about 3 hours for it to happen. I was watching this game, and like a fucking moron, turned the channel and didn't get to see the implosion. Their closer Jason Motte blew the save in the 9th to hand the home opener to the P-Rats. I guess the LAstro's aren't gonna be at the bottom for long. Off course I immediately created an image macro in homage of the blown save.


Later kids. I gotta go to the bar and watch some guys play with balls.