I'm wasn't a racist, but I am now. (The fuck Torii Hunter Rant)

Usually people who start a sentence "I'm not a racist", are usually huge fucking racists.
Its like when my girlfriend starts out a sentence,,, "I'm not one of those psycho women"
What she's really fucking saying is, "I'm crazier than a rat in a tin shit house, but I want to eliminate that presumption of yours that I am IN FACT, a crazy fucking person."

Trust me ladies. If you've ever started out a sentence like that, you are, a crazy person. Or you at least are certifiable nuts at the point you are making the statement. No one in the history of time ever says anything non crazy, when followed by "I'm not crazy" prelude. EVER.

Well I'm here to put this shit on front street right fucking now. I hate Torii Hunter, and his black racist ass.

This is what Torii told a USA Today reporter yesterday. [full page here]

"People see dark faces out there, and the perception is that they're African American," Los Angeles center fielder Torri Hunter says. "They're not us. They're impostors.

"Even people I know come up and say, 'Hey, what color is Vladimir Guerrero? Is he a black player?' I say, 'Come on, he's Dominican. He's not black.' "

And more from the article:

"As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us," Hunter says. "It's like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It's like, 'Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?'

My first question to Torii Hunter is:
When did the color "Black" stop being a part of the visual spectrum? Because if it did, I didn't get that fucking memo. Did Helen Keller send it?
Did the color "Black" change and now isn't a color at all?
Does "Black" all of a sudden mean its now actually a new shade of Yellow? Is it the new Red? Blue?
Pray tell Torii...... What does "Black" mean. Tell me.

"Black" doesn't get to exclude itself from our lexicon's, because its the only word that describes the color that is the darkest on the color spectrum. Tell us Torii, what would you like to rename the color Black? Night? Dark? 8 Ball. Closet where the monster lived when I was 6?
What the fuck? Let me let you in on a little fucking secret.... Fucknut. You can be black and be from Ant-fucking-artica and you'll still be black. Idiot.

Can you spot the black guy?
Now tell me if you can spot the fucking racist?

Here's the thing. What Torii Hunter is probably saying is that even though he and Vlad are currently the shade of the same fucking color,,,,, Vlad isn't from America, and Torii Hunter is....
But listen closely Ear Fuckers. Here is what Torii is really saying.... "I'm fucking black, and from America, and I'm a fucking minority, and my minority group isn't properly represented in the game of Baseball."

Lets not mince fucking words. IT'S FUCKING RACIST. And no one will fucking call him a racist for it.
Are you listening Torii. I just called you a fucking RACIST.
Its okay for Torii to put his (by his own words) people in a bucket, and put white players in a different bucket, and Dominican players in yet another separate bucket...... And then say that his bucket is getting discriminated against because not enough black kids from America are playing baseball anymore. But what Torii Hunter is really doing is shifting focus.
Did you just see what he did?
HE pointed HIS finger at every other race, and told us that WE were racist because WE didn't give HIS people a break. Its not HIS fault. Its YOUR fault, for being Hispanic or White. And once again..... NO ONE CALLS THIS MOTHERFUCKER ON HIS SHIT. NO ONE IN THE FUCKING MEDIA WILL PONY UP AND CALL HIM A FUCKING RACIST.
Once again Torii. I am.

YOU are a fucking RACIST.

Of course not only is Torii Hunter's argument racist, its fucking horseshit.
And here's why. Because in America we've unknowingly been putting Hunter's feet to the fucking fire. The fire is called Professional sports, and his feet are his inaccurate statements. In Professional sports, the best always play. There is no affirmative action in sports. If you are a 7 foot tall green Chinaman from the province of Shandong and throw a heater with movement... Someone will fucking sign you to a big league deal. How do I know this? Because they do it every.fucking.year. When is the last time a Polynesian corner linebacker bitches about there not being enough Tongans in the NFL? Never. When does a white guy complain that there isn't enough power forwards in the NBA? Fucking Never. Why? Because it would be fucking racist. But that doesn't stop Torii Hunter does it?

As if Torii wasn't done hurling non-specific racial epithets, he goes on to say that Hispanic players are "imitation players"
If I wrote a blog post that called "Black" players "Imitation" players, I'd hope that I'd be called out for the racist remarks that I'd made. And those commentators would be correct.
But here's the double edged sword, because he's "Black" nobody calls him out for making this racist remark! ONCE AGAIN, EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF CALLING A BLACK MAN A FUCKING RACIST. [just breath Luke. Breeeeaaaath. Use the paper bag when hyperventilating]
He just fucking referred to Hispanic people as "Imitation", and as we all know, an imitation product is a generic and remedial product.
Yup, Torii Hunter just called Hispanic players powdered milk. Or maybe more to the point, powdered chocolate milk. [which I have to admit doesn't really hold up, because Torii would be Hershey Chocolate Syrup in that plastic squeeze bottle, and Vlad would be Nesquick in that awesome tin fucking can. And I always thought that Nesquick was pretty pimp, although, I was raised fucking poor.. So what do I know? Maybe Hershey was the rich peoples choice of chocolate confection?]


So. Do you think that Torii used a poor choice of words? Me thinks not. Lets go back to 2007. Major League Baseball was retiring the number 42. Jackie Robinson's number. For those of you out there that aren't baseball fans, its okay, but as a refresher, Jackie Robinson was the first black man to integrate baseball. He broke the color barrier. In this momentous occasion Baseball decided to retire his number forever, which meant that no one could ever wear that number on their jersey again (except for Riviera, who oddly, is according to Hunter as an "imitation" player). In salutation to retiring Robinson's number, many many players decided to wear the number 42 that day. Those players included all races. Not just "Black" players from America. Hispanic players, White players, and Japanese players. Well, Mr. Hunter got pissed that everyone was able to celebrate Jackie's career and mind numbing establishment that was breaking the color barrier. According to Torii, only "Black" players should be able to celebrate a "Black" players accomplishment.
Which once again, is fucking Racist. That would be like saying that no "Black" player could immortalize Luis Aparicio, or no Hispanic player could idolize Ted Williams, or no White player could fall in love with Ken Griffey Jr!!!!
So we all should just root for players of our own race,,,,, Right? Of course not you fucking moron. Part of overcoming racism is identifying with our heroes no matter what color, or what nationality, or what religion, or whatever fucking race. What Torii Hunter is doing, and has done, is to make race a topic of conversation when it isn't germaine to the conversation.
When I think of my favorite players, like Andre Dawson, Ken Griffey Jr, Mark Grace, Brooks Robinson, or Sandy Koufax..... I don't think Nigger, Whitey, or Kike,,,, I think of great players that defined themselves on the field, so much so, that they overcame any hint of racial slurs. These greats helped a generation overcome racial issues, they made us realize that not only weren't we not that different, that they were better than us and were deserving of our respect and fucking honor.


So in closing. Fuck Torii Hunter. If he was on my team, I'd actively root against him. He's a fucking Racist and doesn't deserve respect.