Bring it in close, and let the big guy get his bear paws on ya.

Its Group Hug time fuckers!!!!

If your unfamiliar with this concept, its when I scour Group Hug to find the best it has to offer. Then we all laugh at them together. Such fun!

i like to have my hair pulled and my tits slapped while i’m being fucked.

Me too. And when I say "Slapped", I mean SLAPPED. Enough of this pansy lightly tapping shit. And when I say "hair pulled" I mean my ass crack hair. Gently, seductively and slowly, slide your fingers through my muff of ass hair as you manage to nestle your fingers underneath the dingleberries,,,and firmly grab hold. Then in one swift motion slap my right man tit and rip as much of those bastards out as you can.
Pure ecstasy. In other news. I'm fucking disgusting for even typing this out.

Sometimes I think women are a lot like the ocean. They’re beatutiful from afar and they hold great power but as soon as you get close to it you realize it’s all filled with garbage and leftover shit that some other guy left before you got a chance to enjoy it.

Someone finally realized that there's another side to a glory hole. Or finally met that girl who lives in Jersey that he's been talking to online.

i wish that I had jesse’s girl

For some reason, I really hope that this is not a joke. It would be so much funnier if it wasn't.

I got a handjob from my girlfriend under the table while at a restaurant. She used butter for lube.

What kind of butter? Real butter, or margarine? There's a difference pal. If she used real butter, then she's a fucking keeper. If she used margarine, well, get a new girlfriend because that bitch is low fucking rent. Now, if she used melted butter from lobster sauce.. Marry that girl. It's the Cadillac of restaurant lubes.

im in love with my ex who never wants to talk to me again and he’s always flirting with this girl that looks liek an alien and they basically dry hump eachother when they hug and ive been cutting myself and i havent eatten in the past 3 days an di dont even know what to do with myself,life isnt even worth it without him.

I hate you and I hate your stupid problems and I'm glad that your ex is fucking someone else because she is probably better than you and I'm sure that she gives better head and she isn't a complete fucking psychopath that stalks her ex's girlfriends and I hope you choke on broken glass tonight as you simultaneously get mouth fucked by a rug doctor and you'll never get him back because you have yet to figure out how to spell properly and construct a proper sentence correctly.

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to have sex with a mulatto.

Put on sunglasses and fuck me. Same thing. Minus the huge dong and the collard green smell.

I am convinced my boyfriend hates me.

You've convinced me. Because now, I hate you too. Die in an Aids fire please.

I think I was born with girl genes or something. It’s really weird. I find myself doing laundry and cooking all the time. I think cooperation is better than competition. I find myself watching Women’s Entertainment channel and not ESPN. WTF!!!!! I do other guy stuff like watch porn and am attracted to large breast. I’m also very independant but strangly very emotional sometimes. I enjoy rebuilding cars and houses, but also like wearing nice cloths and taking care of myself. I’M NOT GAY I TELL YOU!!!

Someone needs to come out of the Tranny closet.

im starting to fall for this guy named eric, who i have nevermet and hes done heroin before and me and him are suppose to do lsd this summer, and i cant wait. because he is so awesome.
grungier then most.

This is possibly the dumbest fucking thing I have read on the internets in a while. She's in love with a guy she has never met. She wants to drugs with him. She is convinced that this "Eric" is awesome. Future candidate for a Darwin award. Bank on it.

I love my wife to death and would never leave her. I just wish her oral was even half as good as my last girlfriend’s.

Chicks like it if you take control. Grab her by the ears and fuck her mouth until the body goes limp. She'll enjoy it. Trust me on this one.

My sister and I used to eat each other out from age 5 (me) and her 6 until we were 18 and 19.We would have dates in high school, get horny while with these guys and were too scared to have sex, so we’d come home and get each other off - minutes after kissing our boyfriends goodnight.I still masturbate over it. It was the best sex I’ve ever had.I wonder if she’d do it again? I’m 37 now.

We live in a sick sick world. What the fuck is wrong with people? Talk of incestuous relationships with sisters! This is so fucking gross. Unless they taped it.

Vaginas look gross

Winner of the 1# gayest sentence on the internet this week.

Sometimes my privates smell like what I had recently been eating. Stuff like quesadillas, chicken noodle soup, etc. I wonder if it happens to other girls. It doesn’t happen with all foods, just some. I don’t know why. Somebody, somewhere has to find this a turn on.
It always tastes normal, though.

Who is this? Rachel Ray? Julia Child? Emeril? BAM!
What a great idea for a new porno.
Scene 1: Rachel Ray lookalike enters what looks to be a Chili's kitchen wearing only a white apron. She is surrounded by three female sous chef's and one tall blond waitress waiting for order dish to be completed. I walk in with huge boner.
Rachel Ray Mmmmnnn. C'mere big boy. My vagina smells like Jameson and cold cuts!
That's a wrap people.

i am sitting here at midnight finishing up a mixed cd for a girl i like at work. i am married. what the fuck, am i in high school? god, help me grow up.

Rob Gordon logs on to GroupHug for the first time.

Sometimes I hope I’m in a horrible accident just so people feel sorry for me. But I don’t want to be horribly disfigured or anything. I just want attention.

I not only hope you are in a horrible accident, I wish I was the one that could be in that accident with you. I'll give you all the attention you need with my Louisville slugger. Whore. I'd like to take a centerpunch and a hammer and knock out all of your front teeth one by one before I shove you into a wood chipper.

im 17 and feel guilty about losing my virginity when i was 16..why?

Because you're a whore with Daddy issues. You know how to get over your guilt? Wait until you're on your period and lock yourself in a cage with 12 Bengal tigers.

I hate my body so much. I think I’m fat and have way too much hair. I wish I could just cut off my skin. I wish I could be beautiful.

Paging Buffalo Bill. Paging Buffalo Bill. We have a victim.

I miss how horny I used to get when I was 14. My vagina hasn’t throbbed like that since. Nothing works. I’ve tried everything.

Have you tried my special formula of snatch punches and cunt punts? How about some sulphuric acid? hydrochloric acid? Drano? How about a cup of hot lava? Whore. I hope you get fucked with the rusty end of pipe wrench.

My wife fucked my brother and I live in a trailer. I rule!

If any one of you were on meth at the time then that's what's called the hillbilly trifecta. The only thing that can top that, is if she was under age, or related to you. If she was, than we have discovered the genesis of the show Green Acres.