The running list of "I fucking hate everyone", and "I'm going to murder you sons of bitches"

Movie Talkers
Why is it that there are always those motherfuckers that cannot SHUT THE FUCK UP during a movie? How has anyone that is a part of the human race not understood by now that it is common knowledge and generally accepted that TALKING DURING A MOVIE is a beyond impolite. You inconsiderate fuck.
This fucking black couple next to me could not stop their cock holsters from moving during the showing of Star Trek this weekend. It was an ongoing narrative. We are not in your fucking living room. I'm not going to get you a soda from the kitchen. There is no pause button in a movie theater. So what this means, is that everyone in the fucking theater can hear you prattle on, ,,,, and on about the color of the carpet you are thinking about purchasing. If you want to have a conversation with your wife, then get the fuck out of the theater. This isn't a restaurant. This is not a social club, you inconsiderate canadian. I hope you get sickle cell and die in a hate crime.
Guy at the liquor store
How is it that I can come into your place of business no less than twice a week, for the past 2 years and somehow, amazingly, you have no idea who the fuck I am and think its a good time to FUCKING ID ME? Do you see that look of displeasure on my face? See that growl? Have any idea why? Its because you are an astonishingly large fuckface that doesn't understand how much of an asshat one has to be when they card someone that is 12 FUCKING YEARS OLDER than the minimum age level to purchase alcohol. I'd like to beat you with a fucking crowbar in such a way so that the coroner cannot I fucking D you by your dental remains. You sniveling turd.

Guy at the gym
Hey gym rat. There aren't too many things that annoy me at a gym, but you've managed to pretty much nail each one on the head. Congratulations.
You cannot use 3 fucking machines at once while you are working out. When you are using the both cages, and the bench at the same time so you can rotate between 3 different exercises without racking weights it doesn't make you a tough guy. It makes you an inconsiderate asshole. I'd like to punt your tits across the weight room. Its bad enough that I have to wait between you doing 6 sets of squatting the fucking bar in the cage, but I cannot even move on to another exercise because you have monopolized half of the fucking weightroom. When 10 fucking people ask you if they can jump in, it means that you need to get a clue and do one exercise at a time. Fuck off, and I hope you get gang raped in the showers later.

Gym rat two.
Rack your fucking weights. When you walked up to the bench did the bar have weights on it? Did you think that was magic? Do you think that there is a fucking workout fairy that goes around and takes the plates off the bars when you get done lifting? No. Its because the person using it before you removed them. Because they aren't a huge asshole like you. Other people are not your slaves. Your mom is not at the gym with you. Clean up after yourself. And rack your fucking weights before shove the rusty end of a curl bar into that toothless maw of yours.Gym rat three.
See these ear buds? It means no talky. Stop trying to engage me in conversation. If I wanted to talk to you, I'd hit you up over at the gay section of craigslist. I didn't come to the gym to talk, or converse, nor am I using it as a San Friscan bath house or the Buena Vista social club. I came here to work out, not to look for a suitable partner in which to dock my baton in .

Biker lane nazi.
Hey you. Yes. The hipster on the vintage 76 Schwinn taking up the entire lane on this heavily used thoroughfare. Do you hear those honking horns? Its not a gander of geese overhead. They're from the 27 cars stacked up behind you because you are inconsiderate of everyone else's use of the road. Try to get this through your hoopled pierced ears,,,, the road was originally made for automobiles and not bicycles. I don't mind you using it, but just like everyone else that uses it, it is not proprietary. The road is not exclusively yours. It is not named after you. The mayor didn't just give you the keys to the city. You cannot use the entire lane for your biking pleasure. People in 2000 pound vehicles are trying to get to where they are going in a timely manner. You, are holding them up. And your doing it because you think you are special.
So when I jam an umbrella in your front tire spokes and watch you fly from your bike, then calmly park my car ahead of your crumpled body then curb stomp your face into a fucking lightpole.... You have it coming.


That is all. Everyone can resume to their regular scheduled programming.