Enough already. Just fucking die.

I was perusing the New York Times this morning, and an article came across about a couple of Condors that had died in California. Interesting, because I thought these worthless fucking creatures had died off years ago. Of course they hadn't.
The article is horseshit, and the condors should be systematically killed off so we never have to hear about this drivel ever again. They are reporting that 2 Condors died because they ate dead flesh that had lead metal in it from bullets or buckshot. Translation. This bird is to stupid to live, and deserves to die in a hail of bullets rather than choking on them.

Fact. Condors have the largest wingspans of any north American bird. This means absolutely nothing to me. I once saw a girl in a porno get fucked by over 300 guys in a row. Why isn't she on the endangered list? I don't know any other chick like her, she's one in a million.

I can remember when I was a little ear fucker in the early eighties and everyone was whining and sniveling about this species of this fucking bird about to go extinct. At one time there was only 30 of them left, and with the help of douche's in California they have recovered and are now over 300 strong. Translation. This bird is so bad and sustaining life that it needs the help of Californians to reproduce.

Fact. Californian Condors live longer than any other North American bird. Whoopee. Everyone knows that the last 10 years of your life you are useless to the planet other than holding up traffic and consuming social security money that I could use when I'm 60 and am jaundiced with liver failure.

The Condor serves no purpose in the fucking food chain. It eats dead shit. Guess what happens when it doesn't do its job? Nothing. That's what. But environmental do gooders think that this species being eradicated from the planet is going to somehow tip the scales and we are worlds are going to collide. It isn't hippies. So smoke another binger and calm down. It's just a couple of fucking birds that feed on dead shit. When they aren't around anymore, the dead shit will still be dead and will disintegrate into whatever dead shit disintegrates into.....

Fact. The condor was pretty popular in Indian (um, pardon me. Native American) mythology and culture. They also used their feathers for headdresses, and in burial. Really? We're gonna save some big birds because they were important to a dead group of people? Its funny, because, you know,,,,, we already killed off the fucking Indians so didn't we already solve this problem? Q.E.D. Bitches. Maybe the solution to the Condors is to give them smallpox too? Problem solved. And this coming from an honest to god Injun. I could care less about my people. Fuck em. The worlds a tough place, and to quote Ferris Bueller. " Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "

Listen shit for brains. I'm pretty much against killing anything unless you eat the motherfucker. But, I really could give a shit less about the California Condor. And there's kinda a reason. But you have to ask yourself this first. "Why were there so little Condor's to begin with? We're they hunted to extinction like some other specie on this planet? Was their fur, skin, or meat prized so much that they are almost eradicated from the planet?"
NO. According to some shit that I read because I just wrote this stupid post, they died because their habitat was eliminated. And this is the funny part. Their habitat is the fucking desert. Has the fucking desert shrank lately? According to Al Gore and his internets, IT FUCKING HASN'T.
There are only 300 of the fucking things left because they have failed to survive on this planet. They have failed to evolve. They have failed to even reproduce effectively. They are worthless, and just like my ex-girlfriend, I hope they burn in hell.



Other Facts.

• I ate 37 meatballs today. And nothing else.
  
• Daniel Tosh has a new TV show.
• I have a boner right now
• Waterboarding is torture. And I think it should be used on Condors.
• I have never figured out how to tune an acoustical guitar
• I wish I would have posted this on Earth Day.
• I've never seen a baby squirrel or baby pigeon. What's the deal with that?
  
• This fucking post is over.