Mexican Influenza, an attack on the infidels.

I have no idea what all this hubub is all about with this "swine flu"? The internet's is in a fucking uproar about it, but from what I can tell no one has fucking died from it outside of Mexicanola. (If you click that link it should pull up a google map of all Swine flew cases, the markers with no dot in the middle are fatal. As you can see, nobody has died in the U.S.)


Of course any channel that you turn on is afire with headlines talking about it being a Pandemic! Hey McCarthies, its not the Bubonic plague, this is not the real life version of the movie Outbreak. It's a disease that people have died from in a place that is rife with death disease and pestilence. Mexico. This is the same place that you are not able to drink their water because you'll get sick. Why is it a fucking surprise that their pigs aren't healthy? I may not know up from down, but logic like this is the reason that I've never fucked a hooker from Tee U Wanna.




I of course have a theory about all of this. I think that Mexican Influenza is a shitty attempt by the believers of Mohammad and Judaism into killing all of us who don't believe in their gods. And they found the perfect agent. Bacon! Death to the Infidels!
Think about it. The Arab world doesn't eat bacon, pork chops, and sausage, because it is unclean. Maybe they're right? Maybe they're god is finally judging us.

ITS A PORK JIHAD!!!

Somehow the Taliban and the secular state of Israel have teamed up to kill us all. They've decided that thousands of years of fighting each other has gotten them no where, and have decided to band together and take us on. I'm just spitballing here, but I think its retribution for the Crusades.
CMON people! Its like Aids, but for straight people. They're the only ones that don't eat pork, other than those fucking Peta people, and the goddamn vegans. But who are we kidding? Once we all die of this Bacon Aids, they can take their time and wipe out the rest of the non-believers. Of course it'll be super easy because as we all know that Vegans are weak people. And not just in the muscular sense.

Hey. You heard it here first.