Anyway. For all you baseball fans out there, MLB just announced yesterday that there is now a dedicated channel for baseball fans. Before I say anything about this whole "MLB channel" I have to get one thing off my chest. The second article which was written by Mark Newman on the MLB site, is probably the worst written fucking article in the entirety of the worst written articles on the MLB site. I'm not that good of a writer, and even though Mrs. Smith flunked me out of every gatdamn English class in High School, that article made my fucking eyes hurt.
So. Us Baseball fans actually have a network of our own. Way to get with the times Selig. You're a fucking revolutionary. Lets run down the list. Football has their own channel, in fact they've had one since 2003, the NBA has their own channel since 99. Golf has had their own channel since 1995. For fucks sake, the Speed channel has been around since 96. Way to get with the times Selig, 6 years after football. This of course is a huge joke. There's nothing fucking revolutionary here, and after reading the article they don't offer too many specifics and we still aren't sure if there is going to be actual games on the fucking network. This is what tell us about games on the new network:
So. Us Baseball fans actually have a network of our own. Way to get with the times Selig. You're a fucking revolutionary. Lets run down the list. Football has their own channel, in fact they've had one since 2003, the NBA has their own channel since 99. Golf has had their own channel since 1995. For fucks sake, the Speed channel has been around since 96. Way to get with the times Selig, 6 years after football. This of course is a huge joke. There's nothing fucking revolutionary here, and after reading the article they don't offer too many specifics and we still aren't sure if there is going to be actual games on the fucking network. This is what tell us about games on the new network:
The Network also will offer a 26-game Thursday night package of live Major League games announced close to the prospective air dates for relevanceI don't know what this actually fucking means. But I got a pretty good fucking clue. It means that we may have another network that dedicates the majority of its game telecasts to the NY Yankees, and the Boston Red Sox. If this is the case MLB Network than you can go have sex with yourself. If I wanted to watch either of those teams I can watch ESPN any night of the week. If this is not the case, then I fucking applaud you.
Now, does this "Thursday game" come free with the cable package that I already have, or when they use the word "package" does it mean that I have to purchase extra? I'm doubting it, but I certainly wouldn't put it past MLB. Why? They already sold off the fucking rights to all Saturday games to FOX. This of course is the number one thing that pisses me off about MLB. There are 30 teams in MLB, they all play on Saturdays which means that there are 15 games. How many do we get to see? 1. As in the singular sense of the number. One fucking game. We don't get to see our team on the local channel either. That motherfucker is blacked out. So basically, MLB has decided that it is more important to telecast one game (That FOX deems airworthy) rather than all of them, or at least the one that you want to watch.
Hypothetical Question: You go to a dealership to buy a car. You know the model that you want. You are a motivated buyer. You are willing to invest the monies in your pocket for the model you want. The dealer tells you he cannot sell you that model (even though there are 15 of those models just sitting there, 1 of them is even the color that you like) and you are forced to buy the other model? How does this make you feel? Does it endear you to that dealership and/or auto maker? Probably not.
Now do you understand Selig? Do you get why I don't have complete confidence in your ability to run this league with some sort of practical business sense? Fucking idiot.
How is that for treating your core audience correctly?
SO. Other than this Thursday game every week they don't actually say if there is going to be you know.....games on it. (more importantly, are you going to black out the game that I want to watch on Thursday, for the game that YOU want me to watch?)
They do have a couple things that I think could be good. They are shooting for an 8 hour show starting at 6pm every night. That's pretty aggressive, and it could be worth it if they fill that time with the right components. I'll talk more about this below, in my "What MLB should do to make sure that they don't completely fuck the dog on this one" section. They are also going to have a "Hot Stove" segment that is on every night at 7pm until the season starts. Which is good, because there really isn't anyone doing this right now. That is, unless they screw this up too. Are they off to a good start? I don't know. It's getting hosted by Victor Rojas, and Matt Vasgersian.
They are also going to show a bunch of other shit before the season starts that may or may not be any good. Starting off with old home run derby contests... I'll take a pass on this one. I didn't watch them when they were happening and I certainly don't need an encore performance of Berman doing his "back back backbackbackbackbackback" idiotic chant.
They are going to show Ken Burn's documentary "Baseball". Which if you haven't tried chugging Robitussin before, this would be the time to experiment with that. They also have "Pride and Perseverance: The Story of the Negro Leagues" so if you want to hear about why you should feel bad for being white, and learning that Satchel Paige was a ladies man... Props to you. It'll be on until the season starts. Which is kind of fucking ironic don'tcha think. "We'll play the Negroes on the TV until the season starts, then just like in the old days we won't give them any attention when we actually start to play"
What pisses me off about this announcement is there are other issues on the table that haven't been resolved for years. I'm talking about Saving the Whales people! Just kidding, but every bit as important, they need to get off of their dead fucking asses and fix this blackout situation.
Below is the map of how the country is divided up and what team you are forced to watch. Sure nothing is perfect, but this thing is an abomination. People 100 miles east of Minneapolis are forced to watch the Brewers even though they are probably Twins fans. People in NoCal can't get Mariner games, and goddammit, people 150 miles west of Philly are forced to watch P-Rat games. I know it may not enrage a lot of you, but if you were forced to watch the fucking Pirates every night you'd be fucking pissed too. Hell. If I didn't have the MLB package I'd be forced to watch Reds games! And when George Grande is the jewel of the Thom Brenneman, Jeff Brantley (They call me "Cowboy")and Chris Welsh crown of stupid you'll contemplate seppeku too.
Click this link for a larger version of the map.Like always, I don't just criticize though. I'm a solutions orientated kind of guy. Here is my opinion on,
What MLB should do to make sure that they don't completely fuck the dog on this one.
- First off, the zones need to be re-zoned. There needs to be some massive overlapping. Currently I live 75 miles from Cincinnati, 250 miles from STL, and 300 from Chicago. I should have an option to watch the Reds, Sox, Cards, and Cubs. Did you hear that MLB? I should decide who the fuck I want to watch. In fact I should get to punch in my favorite team and watch them. What the fuck is so hard about this? Furthermore, not only should I get to watch the team in my area, but I should also get to watch thier division rivals.
- There needs to be some good fucking discourse on this MLB channel. It sounds like your off to a good start with this Rojas and Vagisarian dude, and we know that you already have a guy that likes to hug it out. Harold Reynolds, but you should add some more talent for your daily 8 hour program. I want you to spend some of that hard earned money I give you every year to hire the best in the business. You know who I'm talking about. Not talking heads like Joe Morgan, Joe Buck (unlike his dad Jack who rocked the hizzouse), Thom/Marty Brenneman, Jeannie Zelasko, Tim McCarver, Dick Stockton, or other shitty ex-athletes. I know Tim Kurkjian, and Buster Olney are nerds for ESPN, but they're good and you should try to pry them away from the evil empire. And for fucks sake, leave Peter Gammons alone. He sucks. And he's a homer. How about getting Uecker from the Brewers, or Simpson from the Braves, or Steve fucking Stone from the Sox, or Mike Krukow from the Giants? I fucking love me some Dave O'brien. Get that fat bastard.
- You are off to a good first step by having a daily program. Make sure you cover the west coast teams, they bitch about not getting coverage, and they're not wrong. Even though I don't live on the Left Coast anymore I would still like to have a feel for those 9 other teams are doing out there. I want a breakdown of every fucking game every fucking day. I want interviews, I want actual journalism, I want an outside perspective on teams. I hate being spoon fed shit from idiots who are homers. I'm lookin right at you Gammons.
- How about embracing newer statistics? Everyone knows that batting average doesn't cut it anymore. We baseball fans want to see WHIP, and VORP, and the Jeremy Giambi Effect.Don't be afraid to show us new things. These statistics are an important part of what the game is, if it wasn't we wouldn't give a shit about steroids and Barry Bonds. Can I get a Harrumphf ?
- I'd like to see MLB get into competition with ESPN and Fox for the games on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and now Thursday. I'm not saying that there should only be one channel that broadcast games, but a healthy competition is good for Baseball. It'd be nice if this MLB channel could evolve to have a game of the day, every day. Even though I'm a Cubs fan, it doesn't mean that I don't want to see Lincecum pitch, or see Ichiro get a couple hits a game, or Todd Helton smack the shit out of the ball. You don't even have to have your own announcers for each game. Fuck it. Use the local announcers. (As long as it isn't Ken Harrelson from the ChiSox. That guy blows. BEGONE!!!)
- You need to pull your collective heads out of your collective asses on this Saturday Fox thingy. Its fine that they want to telecast a game on Saturday's. It is not fine that every other game is blacked out. You are not only pissing off your voting block, you are not allowing newcomers to view your product. And as if you didn't hate us enough, we have to listen to Joe Buck for 3 hours after our eyes and ears have been assaulted by Jeannie Zelasko's shitty attire, and chalkboard scratching voice.
That is all for now. Back to your soon to be regular scheduled programming.
Posts
2 comments:
OK. You are right about the Mark Newman article. Not only does it read like it was written by the slow kid I sat by in jr high, but its completely wrong. This channel is not free if you have cable. I have extended digital cable and I don't get MLB Network. Apparently I have to upgrade to HD, which I have yet to do because I don't care enough about TV to do it. So whoever does get this channel, you're going to have to let me know if its worth the upgrade.
Secondly, maybe I read it wrong but it sounds to me like the 8-hr nightly program is actually going to be games/commentary. Am I right? Isn't that why it starts at 6pm eastern and ends with the last game out west?
One question though...what about the day games? Did anyone read anything that indicates what this network will broadcast during the day? It would be great if they played all of the day games, no matter what region.
You probably were surrounded by slow kids in Jr High, because you were in the "slow class" Zing....
I've been watching the channel since its been on and can report (in fact i thought that i should do a follow up post about it) that you should not upgrade until you see what they actually do during the season. The downfall to that is that they are going to show a ton (i heard) of spring training games. BUT. They are, predictably following the lead of ESPN. They're a little less biased, but still have had two main topics... The big 3 Yankee signings, and the big question of where the fuck is Manny going to go. While to a certain degree I understand them talking about both issues, I was hoping for more. I want to see analysis about every fucking trade. I want to see and hear from them, what I get everyday from beat writers and bloggers. We're not getting that right now. We're getting speculation on the top 10% of the signing class. As in: Who is gonna sign Lowe. Where is Peavy going? What did Frisco offer Manny? While these aren't bad questions, or bad discourse, what about these questions:
Did Oakland get a good deal in Giambi. Whose going to sign Looper. Why hasn't anyone made offers on Hoffman? Who are the likely teams for Abreu to find a home. I want the nuts and bolts, and while they are giving me tidbits about it, they are merely broaching the subject then cutting back into an interview with Texiera in NY, then an interview with Cashman, than an interview with Scott Boras, and then wrapping the show up with minute long clips of Harold Renoylds asking stupid questions of two people speculating about Texiera.
Which brings me to another point. I like Reynolds. I loved him on BBTonight, but he should not be the moderator of discussions. Either that or he needs to vastly improve his timing and demeanor when he does it. He is acting like a moderator when he is clearly a guy that should be giving the insight. But wait! He does that too. He also is interjecting his comments in a conversation that he is moderating. For chrissakes, its like talking to me. And as much as I love the sound of my own voice, I know it doesn't translate into a moderation forum on baseball topics.
Now, onto your other questions.
They are saying that thier nightly broadcast from 8 to 2 am is going to be just a sportscast to not include games. So 8 hours of just talking about what the fuck just happened. Seems like overkill, and i think that a 3 hour segment will do just fine, they think they're going to get a lot of mileage out of Al Leiter talking to the camera effeminatly, and Mitch Williams telling us the importance of saves in the modern era. Trust me it won't.
I have no idea about day games. I don't think they are going to show many of them mainly because they're low ratings grabbers and it'll end up being a 85% cubs network during the week. But who knows what goes through the mind of mongoloids like Selig?
Post a Comment